Celebrity Ass Hats

As per usual, I am showing my utmost support for the coolest online community around - What the BLOG!? Remember how I don't qualify for any awards? Well, I was watching this show last night and I figured I'd write about this tool anyway, so why not turn him into my Celebrity Ass Hat!?!?! Now, before you read any further, JOIN. WHAT. THE. BLOG!? IMMEDIATELY. I'm so serious when I say you're missing out on all of the fun.

Anyway...

I, hereby, nominate wild-child Sean Stewart, son of music legend Rod Stewart and model/actress Alana Stewart, as THE Celebrity Ass Hat. Now, before you say anything, I know he’s not necessarily a “Celebrity” yet, but unfortunately for us, he’s well on his way to becoming one in his own right.

I have been watching Sons of Hollywood on A&E (might I add that I am quickly falling in love with Randy Spelling – I mean, you think he’d marry me???!!). Sean Stewart, Randy Spelling (son of Aaron Spelling and brother of Tori Spelling) and David Weintraub (childhood friend of Stewart and Spelling) all live together in a disgustingly rich bachelor pad. They’re all around 25+ years old and are working on their careers as well as having lots of fun. Stewart is a songwriter, musician (gee whoda thunk?) and model. Spelling is an Actor and Weintraub is a Talent Manager/Producer Extraordinaire.

Spelling and Weintraub are relatively down-to-earth, genuine and loveable…I would actually love to hang out with these guys. Then…then, there’s Stewart.

Stewart, on the other hand, is a whiny biatch. He’s a whiny and spoiled man-whore. I’ve watched all of three episodes and the guy gets on my last nerve…actually it's past that - he gets on my reserve nerve! All he’s done is whine about how his life is so horrible. He whines because he is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict (but it doesn’t stop him from drinking at parties). He whines because he has problems hanging out with friends because his friends are able to drink. He whines because his dad is better looking than he. He whines because he has ADD. He whines because his dad apparently told him he can’t sing. He whines because the music industry has pretty much already told him that he’ll never be as good as his dad. He whines when no one is around to party with him. He whines, whines, whines!!! On top of his incessant whining, he whores himself out for publicity to women - women who obviously have no problem looking like brainless bimbos. In the episode I watched last night, a girl came over (she had never met Stewart - she was a friend of a friend), got in the pool with Stewart, took off her top and started making out with him. And, he acted as if this was sooo cool. Come on! She might as well be a prostitute. Actually, she might have been! And, he thought he was hot stuff because he kept talking about how he was a singer and a musician. Ugh! Seriously? This turns girls on? I mean, seriously?

Now, I may be a little cold-hearted and insensitive to his trials and tribulations, but come on! I sincerely doubt he’s had a rough life. I sincerely doubt he has any reason whatsoever to whine about anything. Fine, so daddy wasn’t around because he was always on tour – GET. OVER. IT!!! Why would you let that ruin the rest of your life?

I’m so serious…he’s an Ass hat in every sense of the word!

Ass Hats Part 3: Ass Hats at Work

First and foremost, get over to what the blog!? and join the coolest community online! Then, once you join, you will be able to participate in the coolest community activity online - Ass Hat Awards!

As usual, I'm not eligible to win any nifty awards, but I'm certainly eligible to write about Ass Hats and that's what I'm doing!

This week's theme is Ass Hats at Work. I have so many stories to tell, but since I can't really think of any of them right now, I'll write about the one thing that has bothered me the most in the 6 years I've worked here.

One rainy morning I was walking from the parking lot to the main entrance of our complex of buildings- this is about half a mile (no kidding). Well, it's not unusual for the men that work here to run full force towards the doors so that they can avoid holding it for any women. I'm so not lying...they truly do this. And, they don't just do it to ugly girls, they do it to ALL women. Now, I'll be honest and admit that there are a FEW men that will hold the door for women - and when I say, "FEW", I really mean about 3 or so. That's 3 men out of a company with 7000 employees! Anyway...on this particularly rainy morning, I'm walking in with umbrella in tow. As I'm walking, I see this guy look at me, looks at another girl and almost runs full speed to the doors.

As I look over at the other girl, I quickly notice that she has her hands and arms full. She was carrying a crock pot in her left arm, a box and umbrella in her right arm and she had a tote bag and purse hanging off of her left shoulder. This poor girl was struggling. He finally passes her up and opens the door for himself. This girl starts to try to speed up so that she won't have to open the door and she can just get in right after this guy. Well, he noticed her and he went through the door and didn't hold it for her. And, naturally it closed right in front of her - she was within 2 feet of the door when it closed. She had been defeated. But, it wasn't over.

I thought, "fine, maybe he was in a hurry". But, once he gets in the front door, he stops at the guard's desk and starts talking to the guards! This guy ran to chit chat - actually, he ran so he wouldn't have to open or hold the door for this girl! So, since I was headed toward another door at about the same time this girl was, I yelled over to her to hang on and I'll get the door for her. So, I ran over and opened the door for her. She was so grateful and I felt so bad for her. So, I offered to shake her umbrella out and close it. She was so sweet and really appreciated the help. So, we pass the guard's desk, show our badges in which she had to pull out of a pocket and I hear something small hit the ground. I look over at her and you can just see the flustered look on her face. She had lost a button! So, I quickly find the button and pick it up. She didn't have any open hands, so she asked me to shove it in her purse - I quickly obliged. Finally, I was on my way to my office as was she. The Ass Hat of a man was where, you ask? He was still at the guard's desk chit chatting!

So, I hereby nominate JERKHOLE as the biggest Ass Hat at Work ever!

Ass Hats Part 2: Ass Hats In The News

If you aren't a member of what the blog!? yet, you really need to hop on over there and register. Because when you register, you get to participate in really cool contests like the Ass Hat Awards! And the kicker? If you win, you get cool little awards and buttons and what not.

what the blog!? and Ass Hat Awards are run by Jen, Tiffany and myself. So, I think both blogs are pretty damn cool if I say so myself! Now that you know the dealy oh - GET. OVER. TO. WTB!?. AND. REGISTER! Or, if I haven't been able to persuade you into joining, go to the Ass Hats Awards blog and check out the previous winners. I guarantee that you'll join what the blog!? and participate in the Ass Hats Awards after you read a little about it.

Now, to show my undeniable support of what the blog!? and the Ass Hat Awards, I am posting my Ass Hat In The News story. But, before you freak out - I am not eligible to win any cool awards or buttons. So calm yo-self! It's too fun to pass up, so I'm participating! So, here it goes. I copied and pasted the article below or you could just follow this link.

P&G not in league with the Devil: court

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Procter and Gamble Co. does not worship Satan, according to a US court ruling that revolves around a decades-old urban myth targeting the world's biggest consumer goods company.

P&G said late Monday it had won 19.25 million dollars in a civil suit brought against four former distributors of direct-selling company Amway who were accused of spreading false rumors.

Last Friday's jury award in Salt Lake City represents the latest in a long line of court battles between P&G and Amway over the devil-worshipping claim, which has taken on new currency in the Internet era.

"This is about protecting our reputation," Jim Johnson, P&G's chief legal officer, said in a statement.

"We will take appropriate legal measures when competitors unfairly undermine the reputation of our brands or our company," he said.

The former distributors were accused of rehashing a rumor that dates from at least 1981, to the effect that P&G is in league with the Devil.

According to the false urban legend, the global company's logo contains a "666" symbol, its bosses have appeared on television talk shows to declare their love of Beelzebub, and part of its profits go to the Church of Satan.

Amway, part of the Alticor Inc. group of companies, direct retails products like consumer goods through independent sellers in more than 80 countries.

Amway has itself been forced to debunk accusations that its business model amounts to little more than a "get rich quick" pyramid-selling scheme.


Okay...are these people serious? I mean, have you guys ever heard this urban legend? And - P&G gets $19.25 million over a "rumor"!?!?!?! Y'all need to start spreading rumors that I worship satan. I prefer a billion dollar company start spreading the rumor about me so that I can bank a cool $19.25 million! I'm just amazed that the rumor actually spread...I mean, come on! What would make someone believe that Procter & Gamble truly worshipped satan?

I wanna see the "666" in the logo - anyone have a picture of it?

I'm not too sure who the real Ass Hat In The News is with this story. I mean, ya got Amway for spreading a retarded rumor, then you have the courts for awarding $19.25 million to P&G, and finally you got P&G whining because people actually spread a "RUMOR" about them. I say they all are pretty Ass Hatted, but y'all can decide for yourself.

Now - go to what the blog!? and join so you can participate in this really cool contest!