Howdy

I've been so neglectful of my little Blog, but I've been so busy. Jason thought it would be great to have Season Tickets to the Cardinals, which IS really nice, but it's very time-consuming also. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE the Cardinals and I absolutely LOVE going to the games, but there are SO many games. I can't complain, it's so much fun! Not to mention, the Cardinals are in 1st place!

In other news, I watched American Idol last night and I can't believe Constantine was knocked off. Actually, what I can't believe is that Scott Savol is still around. He's so disgusting...not just looks wise either - his personality is "missing in action". He doesn't have a personality and he's so cocky (with no good reason to be). I still think Nikko is better that Scott and that Scott should have been gone a long, long time ago. But, apparently there's someone out there that likes Scott - they all must be in the prison system! Anyway. I was on some online forum and a lot of people were saying that they were voting for Scott merely because Simon was "rude" to him. Come on people! You don't vote for someone to spite a judge, you vote for someone because they have talent!! Get it straight!!

I haven't really been watching very much TV since we've been at the games. I'm kinda bummed too, because we watched Part 1 of Revelations and we really liked it. We couldn't watch Part 2 because we were at a game and last night Jason was working. I figured I might as well forget it since we missed Part 2 anyway. Besides, it came on at 8:00 and so did American Idol. hhhmmm...

I had to fill out some paper work today...I'm going to start getting Immunotherapy for my allergies and I have to get the friggin' shot once a week! Ugh. It's a 5 year program too, that means that I have to get a shot once a week for 5 years...Oh well. I hope it works as well as everyone says it does. We'll see.

Well, I suppose that's it for now. Talk to you soon, hopefully.

More Crap

UPDATED FEBRUARY 9, 2007

Living Arrangement? I own my own house (the one I grew up in) and I live with my dog Koko.
What book are you reading now? Uh, People Magazine!
What's on your mouse pad? Stripes
Favorite Board Game? Life
Favorite Magazine? People
Favorite Smells?
Least Favorite Smells?
Worst Feeling in the World? Nausea
What is the first thing you think of in the morning? If it's Monday through Friday, "I don't want to go to work"
Favorite Color? Purple – obviously
How many rings before you answer the phone? How ever many it takes for Call Notes to pick up because I HATE the phone and I never answer it!
What are your childrens' names? First girl will be Izabella, second girl will be Milla, first boy will be Declan and the second boy will be Luca (still working on that one).
What is most important in life? Family
Favorite foods? Anything with potatoes
Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla
Do you like to drive fast? Every time I'm driving, I'm doing at least 10-15 over the speed limit
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No, not unless Koko has one of her babies up in the bed at night.
Storms – cool or scary? Cool
What type was your first car? My very first car was an 87 Honda Accord – Silver
If you could meet one person dead or alive, who would it be? Adolf Hitler
What is your favorite alcoholic drink? Jaegermeister
What's your zodiac sign? Scorpio
Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Yes
If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be? I would own and run an animal shelter
If you could dye your hair any color, what would it be? It's highlighted blonde
Ever been in love? Yes, I think...
Is the glass half empty or half full? Half empty
What is your favorite movie? I would have to say "Murder in the First"
Do you type with your fingers on the home keys? Yes, I have to or else I'll be lost.
What's under your bed? Since I got Koko, most likely some shoes she's dragged under there or some of her toys
What's your favorite number? 7
What's your favorite sport to watch? Baseball

Sorry, but I love these things - it's so fun to learn about everyone!!!

What time do you get up? 5:30
If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be? Colin Farrell
Gold/silver? Silver
What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Can remember
What is/are your favorite TV show(s)? Rescue Me, Entourage, The Unit, Lost, Prison Break, Laguna Beach, The Hills, Cold Case, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Dexter, Ugly Betty...and I guess that's it for now...
What did you have for breakfast? Nothing, I don't usually eat breakfast
Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? Bill Clinton
What inspires you? Animals
What is your middle name? Denise
Beach, City or Country? City
Favorite ice cream? Black Walnut or Butter Pecan
Butter, plain or salted popcorn? Butter
Favorite color? Purple
What kind of car do drive? GMC Envoy
Favorite sandwich? Turkey Club
What characteristic do you despise? Cheating, Dishonesty and Bragging
Favorite flowers? Roses or Azaleas
Where would you go on vacation? This year it would be Ireland, but I ALWAYS want to go to Hawaii, I miss the place!
What color is your bathroom? Tan, teal and black
Favorite brand of clothing? Any brand that isn't cheap and of bad quality
Where are you going to retire? Maybe Hawaii
Favorite day of the week? Saturday
What did you do for your last birthday? Went out to eat with my parents and my nephew
Where were you born? St. Louis
Favorite sport to watch? Baseball
What fabric detergent do you use? All
Coke or Pepsi? I try not to drink soda, but it would be Pepsi if I did - tastes the best!
Are you a morning person or a night owl? Neither
What is your shoe size? 9 1/2
Do you have any pets? 1 dog
What is your favorite season? Fall
What time is it? 10:06 a.m.
Name as it appears on birth certificate? "I'd have to kill you if I told you" and we don't want that, now do we?
Nicknames? None that I know of...
Number of candles on your last birthday cake? None, I didn't have a cake for my last birthday
Kids? Not yet
Hair color? Dark brown with blonde highlights
Piercing? Ears
Tattoos? No
Eyes? Brown
How much do you love your job? I don't, that's why it's a "job", not a career
Residence? St. Louis, MO.
Favorite Food? Italian or Mexican
Ever been to Africa? No, but I would love to go on a Safari
Been toilet papering? Of course, who hasn't?
Have you ever been in love? Yes, I think...
Been in a car accident? Yes, quite a few I might add...
Croutons or bacon bits? Both, thank you.
Favorite saying or phrase? "You heard me"
Favorite restaurant? The Old Spaghetti Factory, Pasta House, Bartolino's, Geno's East, Pizzeria Della Piazza, and Bahama Breeze
Favorite non-alcoholic drink? Water
How many times did you fail your driver's test? Never failed
Do you sing in the shower? Sure do, and for some reason I always sing "It's a Small World Afterall" - I don't know why...
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? DSW Shoe Warehouse or Sephora
What do you do most when you are bored? Watch TV or Eat
Glass half empty or half full? Half empty
If you could live anywhere in the world where would you be? St. Louis - I would have too hard a time leaving family! But, I'm opening up to moving to Hawaii!
Time you finished this e-mail? 10:30 a.m.

Things About Me

So, I was cleaning up my hard drive and I found this...I have to put it on here because I'm a pack rat, and I REALLY want to keep it...so I'll just put it on here. I'm sure it's a BIG OLE repeat of the time I did this before - sorry guys!

UPDATED FEBRUARY 9, 2007

1) My name is Michelle Denise (middle name after my aunt)
2) I was born and raised in St. Louis, Missouri
3) In June, 2006 I bought the house I great up in
4) I was born 10/30/1977
5) I have a new dog named Koko and she's my life. She's a mixed breed, we don't know what. My dad found her shivering (in February, 2006) in a bush down by the hospital he works at, so I saved her.
6) I hate my voice, it’s too deep and nasally
7) I went to Mehlville Senior High School and graduated in 1995
8) My favorite teacher of all time was Mr. Wallman, my 10th grade History teacher
9) I wanted to be a Lawyer from the time I was 5. I’m contemplating going to Law School
10) I got my B.S. in Business Administration at Maryville University
11) I work at the local electric company in St. Louis, MO.
12) I’ve always hated school, but now that I’m done, I love to learn
13) I never once actually read what I was supposed to read in all of my college years
14) I worked full time and went to college full time at the same time.
15) I started at St. Louis University, & ended up at Maryville b/c of my lack of interest in school
16) I was once very outgoing and never shy – now I’m somewhat shy
17) I have one older brother, Sterling, he’s 35 (born 3/24/1971)
18) I have two nephews, Zach (14 - April 8, 1992) and Jake (8 - August 7, 1998)
19) I am now second-guessing my career choice, I am thinking I want to teach now…or do anything more meaningful than corporate business
20) I wasted 7 1/2 years of my life with a man I didn't even love
21) That man cheated on me
22) I studied ballet, tap and jazz for approximately 15 years
23) I am a huge St. Louis Cardinals Fan!
24) I’ve never been in a hospital overnight
25) I don’t like coffee
26) I don’t like chocolate
27) I DO like Hot Chocolate
28) I had braces for 2 years; they were taken off when I was 14
29) My favorite color is purple, always has been, and always will be
30) I am extremely competitive
31) I love shoes and purses
32) I have a CD collection of over 500 CDs
33) I’ve never learned how to drive a car with a manual transmission, but I did steal my brother’s car once and drive it around – it was a stick.
34) I had over 10 piercings, all but one in my ears. The other was in my belly button.
35) I love going to the book store and buying lots of books – I have too many.
36) I am right-handed
37) I LOVE animals, all animals
38) My parents have a dog named Baxter that I once considered mine, but since I moved and got Koko, he is my parents' dog. He's a maltese and he's absolutely adorable!


This is Puff and Baxter
39) We had to put my other dog, Puff, to sleep on my 27th birthday, while I was in Hawaii. I picked Puff out at the age of 14 and I miss him dearly.
40) I love thunderstorms and I can usually sleep better during them
41) I don’t use any product in my hair, nor do I use a hair-dryer
42) There are many things I can write about that I can’t talk about
43) I remember loving the movie & album “Purple Rain” b/c it had the word “Purple” in it.

Has it Really Been That Long?

I know, I haven't posted in a VERY LONG time! Sorry. I've been busy. To be honest, I forgot I even had a blog! I have a really busy April planned too. On the 4th of April, I had an Area Meeting. This weekend is our Team National Scrapbook Day, then next weekend I have a Craft Fair that I'll be in on Saturday and Amanda's baby shower is Sunday (Amanda is my cousin, Mike's, wife). Then on the 23rd I am having my own separate National Scrapbook Day at my house. So, I've been getting ready for all of this.

I've really been thinking about quitting as a Consultant for Creative Memories. I can't get ANYONE to host a home class and I've asked anyone and everyone I know. It's ridiculous. I always knew I was bad at sales, but this is sad. It took me a year and a half to sign a Consultant under me and I'm just frustrated at this point. I don't know what to do. Anyone out there really good at direct sales and want to give me some tips? Please help!

What is Your Animal Personality?

What Is Your Animal Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday Morning - UGH!

Well, good morning all! It's already been a rough morning and it's only 7:15. I had to wake up uber-early because Jason had to use my car and he had to be at work at 7:00. So, I was dropped off at 6:30! Way too early for me. But, I'll live.

I'm happy to announce that Nikko Smith will be coming back to American Idol!!!!! Mario Vasquez dropped out for "personal reasons". So, I'll be glad to see Nikko back - GO ST. LOUIS!! I'll be sure to vote for him!

I'm so tired!

Okay, I can't think of anything else to say - brain dead!

Here's a joke to start your week off:

There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally got pregnant and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and told her there was no way he could be the father of that child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!" Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time!"

"Irregardless"

I keep hearing a word and I hate said word! Has anyone ever heard someone say "irregardless"? I hear it and I hate that word!

The word "irregardless" is not grammatically correct. Even in The American Heritage College Dictionary it says, "ir-re-gard-less adv. Nonstandard Regardless. [Perh. blend of IRRESPECTIVE and REGARDLESS.] Usage Note: Many mistakenly believe irregardless to be correct in formal style, when in fact is is chiefly used in nonstandard speech or casual writing. It was coined in the U.S. in the early 20th century and has been roundly condemned because of the logical absurdity of combining the negative ir - prefix and -less suffix."

Regardless means, "in spite of everything anyway." Adding the "ir" would make it the opposite of "regardless". That means it negates itself fools!

It plainly frustrates me when I hear an, otherwise intelligent, person say "irregardless". Please don't be that person!

Sorry, I had to rant for a minute, I can't stand to hear that word and I heard it this morning from one of the company's Vice Presidents!

I've been so busy lately. I really want to get my CM business off the ground, but I can't seem to do it. I guess it doesn't help that I work full time. I've been frustrated with my business level within CM. My vow is to work on that. My goal is to add 100 customers this year. Think I can do it? We'll see.

I'm going for now...ta ta!

I'm Not Good With Titles

Hey guys,

I know, I know, I haven't been around for a while - but there really hasn't been anything to post. Nothing is going on in my boring little world. I just wanted to let you all know I was still alive.

A little joke on my way out...

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

Happy Birthday Baxter

Today is my dog's 6th birthday! Happy Birthday Baxter!

Not much else going on.

Jason went and played in a poker tournament on the President Casino yesterday. It was his first time playing in a tournament at a Casino. He didn't do too bad either, he came in 4th out of 10 guys. He wanted to win so bad though. I know he did better than I would have!

Yesterday was so beautiful - I wanted to go home and walk around the lake, but about the time I got home it started to get dark and it looked like it would rain - but it never did! So, needless to say, I didn't go walk around the lake. Oh well, soon enough.

We watched the best movie last night. We watched "Saw". It was crazy. Regardless of how sure you are that you know who did it, you are wrong! I loved it! You all GOTTA watch it.
Then we watched American Idol and House - our usual Tuesday night. I've grown accustomed to my little TV nights.

Enough for now...later!

A Few Missives On Old Age

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.

"An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if itdoesn't go well, if something happens to me .. your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife....

"Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf!

What Pastry Are You?

Jelly Doughnut!Yes you are a jelly doughnut! Out going, and very
adventurous but you do still like to hang with
the crowd and stand out too much!

What Pastry Are You?
brought to you by

What color is your heart?

Your Heart is Red

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by

What Kind of Kiss Are You?

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by

Hero

A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. "On a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of macho bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, "Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me."

"St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?" "Just a couple minutes ago!"

Post Valentine's Day

So, Valentine's Day is over. Jason sent me the most gorgeous roses at work. They are actually really neat. They have "Happy Valentine's Day" printed on the actual roses in gold. Neat idea. I love them.

Last night we were supposed to go to the Chase Park Plaza for dinner and dancing. Well, after work we went to the mall to find me something cute to wear. I was actually kind of crabby and didn't really feel like going and when I couldn't find anything to wear, that just kind of validated it for me. I didn't want to go. Jason is so sweet, he didn't care - he just wanted to be together. So, we gave the reservations to his parents and we went home, ordered Chinese food and watched a girlie movie - "Notebook". The movie was really good. I fell asleep really early, like around 8:00. I didn't even watch Medium! Believe it or not, that's actually the kind of Valentine's Day I like.

Jason seemed to love his album. I feel like I cheated him though.

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

I just emailed Linlee and told her how it doesn't even seem like Valentine's Day. It's nothing like it used to be. It doesn't seem as festive this year. It's really kind of boring. It's not even a special day anymore.

Jason made reservations for us at the Chase Park Plaza Starlight Roof - and I'm not really in the mood to go, but I would never tell him I don't want to go. I'm just thinking I wanna go home take a walk around the lake and go to sleep. Sad, huh?

My weekend wasn't much more exciting.

Zach took his ACT on Saturday and he said it was hard - I'm sure it was considering he's 12! I hated that damn test when I was 17, I couldn't imagine taking it at 12. Oh well. I'm anxious to see what his score is.

Jason and I decided we'll go to London this year for vacation. We'll take a little day trip over to Paris too - go see the Louvre. It sounds kind of exciting, we'll see. I just wanna go somewhere. We did the beach scene last year, I figure we can handle a sightseeing trip this year.

I suppose I'll talk to y'all later.

Buh Bye

What Season Are You?

You're Most Like The Season Autumn ...
You're warm, and the most approachable. You have
that gentle prescence about you. People can
relate to you, and find you easy company.
However it's likely you've been hurt in the
past and it has left you scarred so things can
become rather chilly with you at times. Being
the third Season in, you're mature, trustworthy
and loyal to your friends but prone to
depression and negative thinking.
Well done... You're the shy and sensitive season :)

?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by

"Pictures" by Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow

Kid:
Livin' my life in a slow hell
Different girl every night at the hotel
I ain't seen the sun shine in 3 damn days
And fuelin' up on cocaine and whiskey
Wish I had a good girl to miss me
Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways

Kid's Chorus:
I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to her

Repeat Kid's Chorus

Sheryl:
I called you last night in the hotel
Everyone knows but they won't tell
But their half-hearted smiles
tell me something just ain't right

I've been waitin' on your for a long time
Fuelin' up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in 3 damn nights

Sheryl's Chorus:
I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him

Repeat Sheryl's Chorus

Kid & Sheryl:
I saw you yesterday with an old friend - Sheryl
It was the same ole' same how have you been - Kid
Since you been gone, my world's been dark & grey - Both

It reminded me of brighter days - Kid
I hoped you were comin' home to stay - Sheryl
I was headed to church - Sheryl
I was off to drink you away - Kid

I thought about you for a long time - both
Can't seem to get you off my mind - both
I can't understand why we're livin' life this way - both

Kid & Sheryl's Chorus:
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home

Repeat Kid & Sheryl's Chorus

I just called to say I love you, come back home

True Stupidity

One of life's little highlights, to me, is that once in a while you run into someone who is truely stupid. I don't mean the common day to day idiot who looks at the Starbuck's cup in your hand and says, "Whatcha drinking, coffee?" I mean the kind of goofball that asks, "Ya want fries with that?", after you've just ordered fries.

With that in mind, below are a few stories that were sent to me about just that kind of people. After you read them, you can walk around holding your head high, feeling very smart. Or at least, feeling very, very, not stupid. I'm happy to do that for you. I'm nice like that.
- Michelle -

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the east [and has for some time], she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an InDUHvidual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Pacific.."

So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

I was in a high school advanced physics class and the teacher was talking about a new military weapon that uses sonic waves on the battlefield to burst enemy soldier's chests. One idiot in the class spoke up and said, "Well that's stupid! Why don't they just wear headphones?"

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

I was hanging out with an idiot friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

"Over and Over" by Nelly (f/ Tim McGraw)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause it’s all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it yeah I can’t shake it
Nooo

I can’t wait to see you
Wanna see if you still got that look in your eyes
That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes
And it’s a shame that we gotta spend our time
Being mad about the same things
Over and over again
About the same things
Over and over again
Ohh
But I think she’s leaving
Ooh man she’s leaving
I don’t know what else to do
(I can’t go on not loving you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again yeah
And I can’t take it yeah I can’t shake it
Nooo

I remember the day you left
I remember the last breath you took right in front of me
When you said that u would leave
I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything
But I see clearly now
And this choice I made keeps playing in my head
Over and over again
Playin' in my head
Over and over again
Ohh
I think she’s leaving
Ooh man she’s leaving
I don’t know what else to do
(I Can’t go on not loving you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it I can’t shake it
Nooo

(Now that I’ve realized that I’m going down
From all this pain you’ve put me through
Every time I close my eyes I lock it down oh
I can’t go on not loving you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it I can’t shake it
Nooo

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it I can’t shake it
Nooo

Over and Over again
Over and Over again
Cause it’s all in my head