Top 10 Reasons O.J. is the Unluckiest Man Alive

10. Murdered woman just happened to be same woman O.J. beat up.
9. Made unlucky choice of gloves and shoes for photo session.
8. Picked the wrong night to wear someone else's socks.
7. Made unfortunate choice producing "O.J. Tells" video deciding between Beta and VHS.
6. Forgot to take the stand during criminal trial.
5. Should have asked about those annoying red spots when Bronco was purchased.
4. Exactly wrong time for arthritis to flare up, blowing lie detector test.
3. The one night O.J. desperately needed an alibi, decided to sleep alone.
2. Still can't figure out how he got lost on freeway trying to surrender to police.
1. Had to pick the night of the murders to start bleeding uncontrollably.