Top 36 Funniest Newspaper Headlines

36. Two convicts evade noose, jury hung

35. Queen Mary having bottom scraped

34. NJ judge to rule on nude beach

33. Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency

32. Two Soviet ships collide - one dies

31. Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

30. Dealers will hear car talk at noon

29. Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy

28. Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984

27. Cold wave linked to temperatures

26. Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

25. Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing

24. Grandmother of eight makes hole in one

23. Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

22. William Kelly was fed secretary

21. Milk drinkers are turning to powder

20. Farmer bill dies in house

19. Iraqi head seeks arms

18. Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests

17. Miners refuse to work after death

16. If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while

15. War dims hope for peace

14. Child's death ruins couple's holiday

13. Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years

12. Man is fatally slain

11. Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say

10. Eye drops off shelf

9. Squad helps dog bite victim

8. Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

7. Never withhold herpes from loved one

6. Child's stool great for use in garden

5. Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors

4. Soviet virgin lands short of goal again

3. Prostitutes appeal to Pope

2. Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over

1. Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better