Modern Hotel

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic hotel. Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.

"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted 50 cents, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection. He was suprised to see the best haircut of his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures, 25 Cents' "Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out and they were perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony. His screams were heard by every guest on every floor of the hotel. Fifteen seconds later the machine shut off and, with trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his pecker... now with a button sewed neatly on the end!

Can you say ouch!?!?