Tuesday, February 08, 2005

True Stupidity

One of life's little highlights, to me, is that once in a while you run into someone who is truely stupid. I don't mean the common day to day idiot who looks at the Starbuck's cup in your hand and says, "Whatcha drinking, coffee?" I mean the kind of goofball that asks, "Ya want fries with that?", after you've just ordered fries.

With that in mind, below are a few stories that were sent to me about just that kind of people. After you read them, you can walk around holding your head high, feeling very smart. Or at least, feeling very, very, not stupid. I'm happy to do that for you. I'm nice like that.
- Michelle -

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the east [and has for some time], she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an InDUHvidual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Pacific.."

So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

I was in a high school advanced physics class and the teacher was talking about a new military weapon that uses sonic waves on the battlefield to burst enemy soldier's chests. One idiot in the class spoke up and said, "Well that's stupid! Why don't they just wear headphones?"

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

I was hanging out with an idiot friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

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